Audrey bogarting the photobooth at the bat mitzvah we attended last weekend... a party where she knew not a single sole and yet proclaimed it the best. night. ever.I am not what you would consider a shy or, well... reserved person. I typically have no fear when it comes to chatting it up with strangers, even if it means I might end up embarrassing myself (or more realistically, my loved ones).
Such past moments of boldness include attempting to give my daughter to Jessica Simpson in Barneys (in my defense, I didn't actually realize it was Jessica Simpson when I made said offer, or I would've thought twice) and striking up a conversation with Kelly Wearstler in the ladies room at Craft. (Ok, I may have followed her into the ladies room, but can you blame me?)
Most recently, I spotted a gentleman who helped found the company where I worked for many years. The company was huge (over 100,00 employees), so I'd never met the man before, but I greatly respect him, as he's contributed hugely to our community, including being instrumental in the creation of our fantastic symphony center. So of course I had to go up to him and say hello (or as Bryan might say, I had to go up and "bother him"). In and of itself, not so gutsy I suppose, but then there was the fact that this lovely gentlemen was deep in conversation with Ross Perot... a conversation I interrupted...to say hi...
See fearless. (Ok, ok, or annoying.)
I'm not altogether sure where this chutzpa comes from, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's probably one part genetics (I have an awfully bold mother) and one part being the perpetual new kid -- attending three elementary schools, two junior highs and two high schools tends to make you a little fearless I think.
So it's throwing me that lately I am experiencing what can only be described as a complete crisis of confidence. I have fear in situations that normally wouldn't phase me, I'm shy (well shy for me) when I normally would be bold. It's disconcerting.
I have a couple of theories as to why this is happening, but I won't bore you with them here. No, what I really wanted to tell you is how I'm overcoming the crisis, or more specifically "who" is pulling me through it.
Yep you guessed it (my post titles always give me away don't they?), it's Audrey. My super fearless, sweet, wise little A.
Here's how things went down. A couple of weeks ago she was hanging out with me while I was getting ready to go to a party where I would know nobody...and I was going alone...and I was mildly intimidated by the place and the reason for the party. I confided in Audrey that I was really nervous and didn't want to go... She listened all intently and seriously and then busted out with this little nugget of wisdom:"you know mommy, i was super nervous when i tried out for the nutcracker, but then i was sitting next to this other little girl in the try out and i leaned over and asked her a question, and then she asked me a question, and then i asked her another question, and then she asked me a question...and then i wasn't nervous anymore. so you should do that."
To which I replied, "brilliant", what kind of questions should I ask?"
Long pause.
And then: "jeez mommy, i can't tell you everything to do. you need to decide what to talk about yourself."
And then she rolled her eyes and went to play with Millie.
She's good that one.
